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Political Snarkasm (with one home​-​brewed bonus track at the end)

by Sandy and Richard Riccardi

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1.
You’ve the wrong skin, and the wrong face Though your race adores, they’re the wrong race They’re not my race But such a different race That it’s all white with me You have brown eyes, Eat the wrong game You have way-too-many-vowels in your long name Not like my name My name’s a lovely name (TRUMP!) So it’s all white with me You’re rapists, you’re addicts You’re hard to respect And most likely you’re terrorists too You’re people I’m trying so hard to reject Don’t you want to reject somebody, too? You pray strange prayers Wear a head swathe Though your faith is charming, it’s the wrong faith, It’s not my faith But such a scary faith That it’s all white with me I’ll build up a wall to keep out the wrong sort And I’ll make them pay for it, too There’s someone I’m trying so hard to deport Don’t you want to deport somebody, too? And my big wall, it’ll be YUGE No more tired huddled masses seeking refuge I don’t get youse So therefore, OUT WITH YOUSE And our country will be free Cuz I’m Klan-like, and it’s all white with me!
2.
Give the white supremacists a nod Tell the "Christian Right" that you found God Take away the women’s rights we’ve had for fifty years Hang out with the Ku Klux Klan, then crucify the queers Build a wall to keep the for’ners out Tell a Californian there’s no drought That leaves one thing more before we’re through One little thing from me, for you to do Kiss My Rump, Donald Trump I’d never vote for you Not if you were the last man standing Kiss My Rump Donald Trump Your winning days are through Your ass to you we will be handing Lie about the businesses you’ve sold Leave your wives before they get too old Go grab ‘em by the pussy then pretend it’s not a crime Cuz clearly you’re a pervert and your heart is full of slime Talk of women like they’re pigs and whores State they’re only useful on all fours Use Mick Jagger’s music till you’re sued But here’s one little task you must include Kiss My Rump, Donald Trump I’d never vote for you Not if you were the last man standing Kiss My Rump Donald Trump Your winning days are through Your ass to you we will be handing I’ll try to be succincter But your mouth looks like a sphincter Your squinty eyes reveal to me A narcissistic personality Your tiny sausage fingers are Too small to hold your fat cigar How nice a so-called billionaire would take away Obama-care Tell McCain he’s not a war hero After all, why not? You didn’t go Tell me how you plan to keep the press from telling facts Tell me how you won th’election without Russian hacks* Flush the Grand Old Party down the drain Have a bromance with Vladimir Pu-tain Summon all the bigots in the country from their caves Is this the way a president behaves? Kiss My Rump, Donald Trump I’d never vote for you Not if you were the last man standing Kiss My Rump Donald Trump Your winning days are through Your ass to you we will be handing Kiss My Rump, Donald Trump I’d never vote for you Not if you were the last man standing Kiss My Rump Donald Trump Your winning days are through Your ass to you we will be handing Your ass to you we will be handing Your ass to you we will be handing
3.
Call up my doctor I’m gonna need a ton of pharmaceuticals Fill my prescriptions Before I bite my nails down to the cuticles (OW!) For I need a little Xanax Right this very minute, Mild anti-depressants Can’t put a dent in it Oh I need a little Xanax Right this very minute. Oh Doctor dear now don’t be hesitant Now that Donald Trump is president Calm my anxiety Bump up the serotonin and endorphins, please Break up the Spilkes It’s time we medicate this orange demon away For we need a little Xanax Right this very minute Nothing stops the panics We’re just living in it Yes we need a little Xanax Right this very minute We need a little Xanax NOW Tried all the naturals I tried some mushroom tea and (rest) peyote again Lavender essence, I just thank God that marijuana’s legal here now But I need a little Xanax Something more exotic Pass the oxycontin Need a small narcotic Yes I need a little morphine Should I take up heroin? Never have felt so dejected What an asshole we elected This is abysmal This was the worst election I have ever seen. More Pepto-Bismol It’s time to get those knots out of my stomach please now For I need a little Maalox Need another Rolaid Pass the Alka-Seltzer Or some deadly nightshade And we need some artificial Happy ever after We need a lot of Xanax now!
4.
Tall and orange and rich and tubby The boy from Mar-a-Lago goes walking And when he passes, each one he passes goes, (Asshole! Blowhard! Windbag!) Spending millions each vacation He laughs as he rips off the nation And when he passes each one he passes goes, (You cut Meals On Wheels? Healthcare? PBS? NEA? Pussy-Grabber! Tiny Hands) Oh and I watch him so madly How can I tell him I loathe him? Yes, while he’s dining on lobster And Melania stays in NYC The bill comes, not to him, but me How much money is he making From presidential golf vacationing At his own Mar-a-lago by the sea Oh, is he running the country? How can I tell if he’s working? Yes, I would vote to impeach him But each day when I walk to DC I can’t find him he’s at the sea If he works, no one will ever know Cuz he’s holed up in Mar-a-Lago laughing at his own government money tree (Windbag!) He’s living free (Fascist!) And chargin’ me (Spray-tanned gobshite!) Down by the sea (Bloviating shit-gibbon!)
5.
Kakistocracy 02:12
With all her books unread, Betsy DeVos will head the nation’s education agency She bought her way into the Kakistocracy Scott Pruitt really fracked up Oklahoma Practic’lly destroying it structurally He’ll head the EPA of (the) Kakistocracy What is it called if I’d take unqualified old billionaires, extolified and let them run our democracy? You’ll see! Kakistocracy! Old Mr. Sessions’ fight to keep his voters white Has had the KKK on his settee A white supremist’s part of (the) Kakistocracy And oily oil execs, one by the name of Rex, will head Department of State naturally Big Oil’s the biggest part of (the) Kakistocracy While Hill’ry got the ax for courting Goldman Sachs Steve Mnuchin heads up the Treasury Now Goldman Sachs is part of (the) Kakistocracy Rick Perry dancing star, Can’t recall you see His own (what’s it called?) department of energy And should someone rebuke him? Nuke’em! Steve Miller’s by Don’s side, watch out for genocide We’ve seen this all before in history When CaCa comes to power, Kakistocracy Caca-stocracy, Kakistocracy
6.
When Jared tries to wear red ties Or drive me in his new Bugatti He might be cute ‘nhis Armani suit But my heart belongs to Daddy You may decline my dress design You may think my handbags are faddie But Chinese pa-tents are where it’s at- Since my heart belongs to Daddy Yes my heart belongs to daddy In a weird sort of creepy-ish way Yes my heart belongs to daddy Dad-da-da-da-da Daddy all day More important than his caddie Cuz I translate all the big words And I whisper to my Daddy “Daddy Dear, let’s bomb Muslims and Kurds” My Nordstrum’s line was oh so fine I even had skirts that were plaiddie And Chinese kids won all my work bids Cuz my heart belongs to daddy I will defend him till the end While sitting on his chubby lappy I’ll make a mint And hide his dementia My heart belongs to Pappy Yes my heart belongs to Daddy So I simply couldn’t be mad When he starts to fiddle-faddie With the rights that all humans once had And I want to warn you laddie That I think he now mustn’t fail I really need my Daddy Cuz my husband is going to jail
7.
Chocolate Cake and 18 Holes Help you forget your abysmal polls But just shout “Fore” before you drop that bomb Chocolate cake and 18 holes Help you forget those Russian moles And blowing up an airbase fills one with such calm (even when empty) What kind of cake should they bake for me Now that we are bombing old Afgani Next week let’s bomb Germany And take all their cake from their bakery (oh German) Chocolate cake and 18 holes Help you reach your presidential goals Just drop a bomb and have a past-erie Life’s as good as it’s gonna get Just think of all the lands we haven't bludgeoned yet! I feel just like Marie Antoinette! What’s for dessert? Cake? Angel food cake? Devil’s food cake? Impeach pie? Mm?
8.
Covfefe 02:31
I'm feeling mighty stifled by that Paris Climate shite But I’m on the throne and on my phone And in between I twite Covfefe I know all the best words! I’ll never feel that warming That’s for science nerds (hashtag fakenews) Like Ha-kuna Matata It means the world won’t end If I give out coordinates of submarines to friends Covfefe Here’s my cell, ring me up! I’ll tell you where the troops are! Cuz Covfefe’s what’s up! Now my staff’s abanding the ship wreck My cab’net’s getting probed to bits I can’t quite figure out what’s happenin’ So Covfefe I’ll put on the twits while my Communications director quits Let’s build another pipeline Let’s frack up all the sea Let’s build back channels to Red Square It only means to me Covfefe! While the money rolls in I’m not gonna quit-cher, just make the rich get richer Who needs oxygen? (It’s overrated) While the money rolls in Covfefe for the win (Paris Climate Accord LOL)
9.
I hope there were mirrors with two way views I hope there were secret bugs hiding in the drapes I hope Alan Funt got it all on film Lordy, I hope there were tapes I hope there were suspicious clips on his long red tie I hope there were 10 microphones in mysterious shapes I wish ya’ll all had been flies on the wall Lordy, I hope there were tapes I hope Jimmy Stewart was looking out his rear window that day And saw the president say what he apparently swears he didn’t say Hinting, suggesting, puffed out chesting like a mob boss, for me to heed him Isn’t this a hot mess? Can I get a witness PLEASE? Where’s Boo Radley when ya need him? I hope someone caught it all on their new iphone I hope no one tied to him or the Kremlin escapes And If he is lucky maybe Gerald Ford will pardon him, too Lordy, I hope there were tapes (Don’t leave me alone with him!) Lordy I hope there were tapes (Ooh maybe a drone dropped in!) Lordy Gosh oh golly gee I hope there were tapes!
10.
There are worse things I could do Then go with a boy named Pu-tin and though my cabinet’s now filled with Ruskylluders, how could you want to see me go? That’s a thing I’d like to know I could launder all my stacks Celebrate the Russian hacks What’s a billionaire to do When the Feds are on to you And they shout “Collusion!” too That’s a thing I’d never do I could screw the IRS Report nothing, make them guess Golden showers everyday In Moscow I could play And tweet Rosie while I poo.... I could hurt Democracy Out of spite or jealousy That Obama made me mad So I got some help from Vlad A fact I bet you never knew (nobody knew, nobody knew) But to tell the truth to you That’s the worst thing I could do
11.
Horcrux number one is hidden In Donald’s own toupee (or whatever that is) And if you do dare to touch his hair Your soul will be sucked away Horcrux the second grew so fecund In a peculiar place The bush was thick, we pulled it quick The mandrake with Spicer’s face Horcrux number 3 was hidden down in the bow’ls of Kelly Anne Conway’s soul Shriveled dry by every lie and stolen by owls then fed to a nasty troll Horcrux number 4 is in the trickiest place To find it would be an art Deftly hidden in a tiny Rock better known as Paul Ryan’s cold dead heart Horcrux number 5 is in a deep pit of sand at Mar-a-lago Resort If you try to dig you will be swallowed up and then baked in a chocolate torte Horcrux number 6 is hidden In Mitch McConnell’s chin It waddles and shakes and then it takes Your healthcare (and with a grin) The last piece of soul lives in the Nesting dolls of Putin Decreasing in size, they hide the cries Of the tormented soul within The search you must now begin... McGonagall needs her gin…...
12.
Extra, Extra, Hey look at the headlines This drama is better than a play Extra, Extra, They’re drawing big red lines Around the best debacle of the day The president tweets, The president twaets He tries to turn the Boyscouts into fascist brats* Presenting...in person….That ever-intriguing, never-ending bundle of dynamite….. The Russian Scandal!!! Hello, everybody, My name is collusion! What’s yours? Lyet me entertyain you, Lyet me make you smile You will feel windicted When Donald is conwicted Of that there’s no denial We’ll make you dizzy And keep you bwusy Trump news can turn on a dime (Da! Nyet!) So lyet me entertyain you While Congress does the real crime, Look here! While Congress does the real crime Meanwhile in Congress Watch them quickly maim the poor and middle class Watch them take your shares To give to billionaires And kick us in the ass If you’re a bit slow? This is a shit show. Put on by Ryan and Mitch While we’re all watching Russia They’re giving our money to the rich, yes sir, They’re throwing our protections in the ditch, yes, sir And we’re gonna be their bitch yes sir, We’re gonna be their bitch (Now THAT’S Entertainment!)
13.
Tiki torch Nazis Hanging around the college square Tiki torch Nazis Had to rob mom just to get there Well at least you could have taken time to Cover your sweet faces Cuz your bosses back at home now know you’re vile disgusting racists Tiki torch Nazis Hanging around with David Duke Tiki torch Nazis Your presence makes me wanna puke Do you really think you’ll make extinct all traces of Barack Go back from whence you came, back underneath your rock Bigots get moving Why keep your feeble hopes alive? What are you proving? Just keeping Hitler’s dream alive When you bleach your hair you must take care As though you were a chemist Do it sloppily and you could be a not-so-white-supremist Now all your families see that you stand where Hitler stood Now you are finding out that you should have worn your hood Take off your swastikas, your armbands too, you’re looking like a fool Put out your tiki torch and go back to high school
14.
Christie, Parody lyrics by Matt Levin Who’s stretched out on the beach in New Jersey? Who’s all alone in claiming the sand? Who gets the perks because he’s the gov’nor? Everyone knows it’s Christie. Who thumbs his nose at all of New Jersey? Who’ll never play with the E Street Band? Whose July Fourth was bound to be lonely? Everyone knows it’s Christie. And Christie likes sea-side naps Underneath his base-ball caps. Watch Christie’s career collapse Little left to lose (little left to lose, no pride left to lose). And Christie likes sea-side naps Underneath his base-ball caps. Watch Christie’s career collapse Little left to lose (little left to lose, no pride left to lose) Who’s got a free beach house in New Jersey? Who’s made the state his private resort? Who’s king of the political bullies? Everyone knows it’s Christie. Who’s stretched out on the beach in New Jersey? Who’s all alone in claiming the sand? Who gets the perks because he’s the gov’nor? Everyone knows it’s Christie.
15.
Well-armed boys with golden hair Who raised their arms up in the air With tiki torches everywhere Made Donald proud that day But those opposed to racist hate Who sought the Nazis to deflate This president he does equate With those who killed that day He’s put the blame on both sides now The nazis and not-nazis, HOW? It’s his delusions we recall You can’t equate the two at all Unarmed boys with curly hair Who raise their brown hands in the air Are shot before they have a prayer By profiling police So rugged heroes bend their knee Arms locked in solidarity The Potus calls them SOBs And calls for their release He puts the blame on both sides now He scorns a peaceful protest how? The first amendment we recall You can’t equate the two at all When Donald’s loud dog-whistle sounds He perks the ears of mongrel hounds Who celebrate like pasty clowns In a supremist way Now gen’rals hang their heads in shame Associated with his name And CEO’s quit to exclaim His game they will not play He’s put the blame on both sides now They’re morally equiv’lent, HOW? It’s his delusions we recall You can’t equate the two at all
16.
You tell us we are being disrespectful You tell us, Oh, that we should be ashamed (shame shame) That the office of the president is sacred So therefore all our comments should be tamed So….What part of Pussy-grabbing narcissictic Twitter-addicted nepotistic xenophobic mostly illiterate bully are we supposed to respect? Pussy-grabbing narcissistic Twitter-addicted nepotistic xenophobic Mostly illiterate bully are we supposed to respect? Just WHICH part of this man’s character Deserves presidential veneration? If you could point out one virtue I would shout Hooray and so would well over half the nation (who voted for Hillary) Pussy-grabbing narcissistic Twitter-addicted nepotistic xenophobic mostly illiterate bully that we’re supposed to respect? x2 You can say “He won! Get over it!” But that’s not the point of our odes I guarantee you we’re not gonna stay quiet While Baby Huey holds the nuclear codes! And he’s a Pussy-grabbing narcissistic Twitter-addicted nepotistic xenophobic mostly illiterate bully that we’re supposed to respect? I wasn’t crazy about George Bush but I’d take him back in a heartbeat But this pussy-grabbing narcissistic Twitter-addicted nepotistic bully we’ll NEVER respect?
17.
‘Member when you felt so blue Didn’t know just what to do But honey now you do Your vote it turned the red states blue 14 seats and 2 govners more Showing Trumpism the door The melting pot is you Your vote it turned the red states blue Blue as the ocean Blue as the sky Siding with reason not with bigot..try Giving the old guard a big black eye Telling the jerks….that this is goodbye Alabama’s turning blue Cuz Roy Moore had a snafu His little gun is through (pew pew) Your vote it turned that red state blue Sending a message to th’executive branch Millions of snowflakes make an avalanche Tell them the people want justice for all Halftime’s almost here, and we’ve got the ball Yes Virginia, it is true A Santa Claus exists for you Maine and Washington and New Jersey too Your vote it turned the red states Your vote it turned the red states Your vote it turned the red states blue
18.
Mueller, Mueller do your job, Please indict this orange clown slob. We've been patient, we can't wait, Want a country free of hate. Want a president that's sane, Not one who has poop for brains. We can hardly stand the wait Please Mueller , don't be late. Round the subject Don does dance But he’s crapping in his pants Mueller find the smoking gun Please Before we all are done. Please before Kim Jong Un attacks We just want our country back Find a way to end this pain Please Mueller end his reign Mueller we can end this tale Please put his ass in jail.
19.
All we want for Christmas is this douche impeached This douche impeached See this douche impeached Gee if we could only have this douche impeached Then we could wish you Merry Christmas It seems so long since we could say Christmas brings us tidings of excitements Gosh oh gee how happy we'll be When Muller brings indictments All we want for Christmas is this douche impeached And Mike Pence impeached The whole cabinet bleached Gee if we could only have this douche impeached Then we could wish you Merry Christmas
20.
A Rally 02:05
I have reached the top, as high as I can go, Yet I don’t feel myself, My spirit is so low I need to make a plan, my ego now to feed But wait! I know exactly what I need…….. A rally, a rally, I think I’ll hold a rally A rally’s what I’m needing to feel whole A rally, a rally, oh let’s not dilly-dally Chop Chop! Just rent the hall, and in they’ll stroll I hear the people cheer, “Lock her up! Lock her up!” I hear the people shout “Build that wall!” I hear you chant my name, and I revel in my fame When this is done I might just hit the mall (and hold a) Rally, a rally! I’ll hold one in the alley Just anywhere the crowds might gather Let’s not work because I’d rather Blather, because on your praise I thrive And a rally makes me feel alive Hey! The floods in Houston are a way I can get crowds to come and hear me talk about my numbers, How I won Wisconsin bigly And Missouri makes me giggly “What a great crowd! What a turn out! My ratings are tremendous!!” A rally, a rally So what’s the final tally? A tally for my rally would be fine Let’s start a new election cycle Staging! Where’s my black man, Michael? A rally? I feel divine
21.
I so don’t wish to disparage But don’t let him near your carriage Orange cheeks, No class Fake hair, Large ass He may be sad and disappointed That you’ve shown him he’s not God’s annointed He’s a loose cannon He’ll start wars Best kept outdoors Never let that old fool Sit on your upholstery. He’ll drool If you put the napkins posh out You don’t know if the orange will wash out If you don’t praise or tolerate him He will finally see that we all hate him He might show his tax returns so we can see he’s not paying Russia for hookers to pee Help us Queenie Many Thanks! Sincerely ⅔ of the USA.
22.
High on the hill was a lonely dotard Lady ogle lady ogle her hoo hoo Loud was the voice of the lonely dotard Twit il-lit-er-ittee odle oo Folks in a place that was quite remote heard "Shady Compensaty for the wee pee-pee" Lusty and clear from the dotard´s throat heard Makey fun of flaky Donald Boom Oh ho Rocket manny ee-ho Oh ho Barky bark dog Oh ho Nambia Coffee, Nambia Covfefe ugh A prince on the bridge of a castle moat heard "Namey-Cally Namey-Calley big doo-doo" He yodeled back to the lonely dotard "Tame the old derangy US fool" Soon General Kelly his head explodeherd What the helly did he really say God NOOOO!! What a duet for the prince and dotard Escalatey Detonatey Boom Oligarchy, Communarchy Barry Barky, Leave your mark Decimated Populatey, For the wee pee-pee Compensatee Four Russian girls in a Red Square d’hote heard "Urinatey prostitatey who-hoo-hoo" They yodeled back to the lonely dotard Rubles or no bubles pay up front Paul Manafort with a scheming gloat heard Mueller’s got a warrant open up hoo hoo Things don’t look good for the deranged dotard Rigging the election what a cu-ogh cough cough Oh ho Tweedle deedle deedle Oh ho Twittle idle lay Oh no no no He did not just say that Someone take his phone away! Happy are they pee-pee small, pee-pee swinging Pounding their chests like the apes in the zoo We’ll all be dead for the peace h’aren’t bringing (Fuck it just admit it we’re all screwed) Russian Pee Pee, Hot Covfefe Russian Hankling, Ego Wanking Complicateyodlelay Demonstrateyodleyyee masculateyoldeay Dotard locked and loadard Bombs Away! Ha! All alpha dogs with testosterone singing Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo Ummm (ummm) Odl lay ee (odl lay ee) Odl lay hee hee (odl lay hee hee) Odl lay ee Yodeling Happy are they lay dee olay dee lee o Yodeling Soon the duet will become a trio Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo Odl lay ee, old lay ee Odl lay hee hee, odl lay ee Odl lay odl lay, odl lay odl lee, odl lay odl lee Odl lay odl lay odl lay Hoo! Compensaty Emasculatey for the wee pee pee Namey-Cally Namey-Calley big doo doo Complicaty What a duet for a (?) and dotard Rocket Manny and the Nambia covfefe hoo Nambia and Pambia Covfefe-hoo Compensaty Emasculatey for the wee pee pee Aggravatey eliminatey Populate Oh oh! Twitter General Kelly Nambia and Pambia Covfefe-hoo Twiddle dee dee twiddle doodle day Men on a road with a load to tote heard Educate the inarticulate hee hee Men in the midst of a UN meet heard Aggravat- eliminate Populate Oh oh! Men drinking beer with the foam afloat heard Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo
23.
The seven CDC words, those ghastly little traps Were never written by this president (oh Heavens no...) Those seven CDC words were writ by other chaps and solely to appease the one percent (c’est moi!) Take Fetus; now there's a ruse A plan to vilify a woman’s right to choose (keep her poor!) “Transgender”? I use air quotes (of course it’s real but we need ALL those Baptist votes--shhh!) We find "Diversity" in such bad taste White is superior (that’s probably science-based, hmm?) "Entitlement" it only applies to we rich And people who are "Vulnerable" are a drag If "Evidence-Based" is factual we just say “fact you” This climate talk just makes us want to gag (buy oil!) We’ll create our own community we billionaires can rule We’ll chuck the science, boost religious myth We’ll keep the middle class far away from our nice pool And when they blame us, we’ll just plead the fifth Those lower-class conservatives they don’t catch on well Ayn Rand is smiling from her velvet seat in hell You'll never find plain science unstatusing our quo Or making our Koch Brothers Bubble burst Let lib’rals take the high road, we will just take notes… This theocratic bullshit will rake in lots of votes We’ll keep up our alignment with the religious right So they’ll all vote republican And we can sleep at night All those seven CDC words are Just a little bargain with the do-nor class
24.
Scaramucci 00:18
25.
My Funny Vladimir Sweet Daddy Vladimir You make me beg like a dog You are my Rasputin I’d kiss your ass Pootin Cuz you’re my favorite demagogue Please forgive the debts I owe Don’t blow up Maralago And those sanctions I will throw All away Just don’t leak that dossier Please make it go away Stay Daddy Vladimir stay Each day is Vladimir Day
26.
Dom Perignon 03:55
Ven ve started it was veekly trips to Paris My life vas Tiffany’s and Cartier De Kobe beef and caviar dey made me feel just like a star De memories stay wit me to dis day At tea, my toast is always topped with truffles De liposuction keep me looking fey My heart is pumping liqvid gold, but his shenanigans get old And now I stand before you and I say: Dere is not enough Dom Perignon in de world to put up with dat man Dere is not enough fine caviar in de world in de jar or de can He never met a mirror dat he didn’t like He never met a back he didn’t stab He never met a crooked deal he couldn’t strike He never met a hoo hoo dat he didn’t grab Dere is not enough Dom Perignon in de world to put up with dat man I vas only tryink to improve my qvality of life. Can you blame me?….Oh shut up, or I vill slap your tiny hand Oh de yachts and pearls and diamonds were exqvisite Saks Fifth Avenue was “slumming” for de day I didn’t mind de sex, it was just like de side-effects of a new drug, (highly unpleasant), but worth it all de vay Oh de man had such a yuge naked ambition Trust me, dat’s de only ting you’d vant to see I got real good at fakin’ it as long as I was rakin’ it in... but den one day it dawned on me ….. Dere is not enough Dom Perignon in the world to put up with dat man Dere is not enough fine caviar in de world in de jar or de can He never met a mirror dat he didn’t like He never met a back he didn’t stab He never met a crooked deal he couldn’t strike He never met a pooooosy that he didn’t grab De lovely riviera couldn’t make me unaware of de disgusting pig I married on dat day Dere is not enough Dom Perignon in de world to put up with dat man Dere is not enough Dom Perignon in de world to put up with dat man
27.
Round like a circle in a spiral, like a wheel within a wheel Never ending or beginning in a really crooked deal This administration changes in the blinking of an eye Cuz the White House is a sinking ship where rats jump off to die Out with Tillerson and Price, In with Azar and Pompeo Gary Cohn detests the tariffs so he leaves them to Kudlow Like the circles that you find in the windmills of Trump’s mind Now John Bolton has replaced Gen’ral McMaster who replaced Michael Flynn whose resignation had a very Russian taste Walter Shaub, in charge of ethics, said “Trump’s hopeless! That’s enough!” So they brought in David Apol so he won’t say stuff that’s tough Then Rob Porter beat his wives so Derek Lyons took his place Omarosa, she resigned but then she wouldn’t leave the space Like the circles that you find in the windmills of Trump’s mind Facts that soon turn into fiction, names that jangle in your head Why did Priebus go so quickly? Was it something that he said? Steven Bannon was disgusting and he didn’t like the Jews Gorka’s wanted for arrest now, but he’s welcome on Fox News Now defunct Brenda Fitzgerald used to head the CDC But investments in tobacco put a stain on her CV Katie Walsh replaced by two men, Joseph Hagin, Chris Liddell Poor Ivana was replaced by Marla who was offed by Mel Like a door that keeps revolving in a wicked fever dream Like the ripples from a toxic rock he tosses in a stream Michael Dubke quit then Scaramucci came in for ten days, then Hope Hicks quickly replaced him but she’s leaving anyways in with Sanders and Bowdich so out with Spicer and McCabe Out with Comey, Yates, Bharara. In with Berman, Sessions, Wray As the travesties unwind Like the circles that you find in the windmills of Trump’s mind.
28.
Rally ‘round the flag ‘tis a very ancient game Boys and girls let’s fire up Your patriotic flame T’will make you oh so proud Of the country in which you dwell, America First! America First! The others can go to hell Rally Round the flag, boys Don’t question right or wrong Don’t challenge what we’re fighting for Or kneel during our song Don’t sit down while the president Begins to lie and brag To disagree is treason (OH!) So rally round the flag Old Glory will be flapping when she sees the big parade Of soldiers tanks and guns and Bombs so colorf’ly displayed Our president is vying to compete with General Kim It’ll give him great big bonespur cuz he thinks it’s all for him! So Rally round the flag, boys Use your outdoor voice Watch the soldiers, brave, salute Him, ‘cause they have no choice Pledge all of your allegiance to the great red white and blue But emphasize the WHITE part that’s what Donald likes to do So rally round the flag boys, rally round the flag!
29.
Unfriend Me 01:26
Unfriend Me Just click the little box that says unfriend me You don’t like what I say so just unfriend me Don’t troll my timeline I said it You don’t agree with what I said I get it But calling me bad names means you don’t get it Just block me, that’s fine You like all my pictures of little kitties But now all my actual opinions twist your titties Unfriend me Just click the little link that says unfriend me Don’t worry what I think just please unfriend me And show some aplomb Just unfriend me It won’t offend me You know that you’ll always be my mom
30.
Give the white supremacists a nod Tell the Christian right that you found god Take away the women’s rights we’ve had for 50 years Hang out with the ku klux klan then crucify the queers Fire everyone who calls your bluff Vilify the ones who say “enough” That leaves one thing more before we’re through One little thing from me for you to do Kiss My Rump Donald Trump I’d never vote for you Not if you were the last man standing Kiss my rump Donald Trump If you attempt a coup Your ass to you we will be handing Build a fence to keep protesters out Hunker in your bunker, tweet and pout Tell the cops to go ahead and up brutality Law and order is a premise fascists all decree Drink some bleach to clean your molecules Push hydroxychloroquine to fools Keep denying your ineptitude But here’s one little task you must include Kiss My Rump Donald Trump I’d never vote for you Not if you were the last man standing Kiss my rump Donald Trump If you attempt a coup Your ass to you we will be handing I’ll try to be succincter but your mouth looks like a sphincter Your squinty eyes reveal to me narcissistic personality Your tiny-fingered sausage links are far too small to hold your drinks So get some help in your defense From your disgusting sycophants Tell McCain he’s not a war hero After all, why not? You didn’t go Tell me how you plan to keep the press from telling facts Tell me how you won th’election without Russian hacks Flush the Grand Old Party down the drain Have a bromance with Vladmir Pu-tain Summon all the bigots in the country from their caves Is this the way a president behaves Kiss My Rump Donald Trump I’d never vote for you Not if you were the last man standing Kiss my rump Donald Trump If you attempt a coup Your ass to you we will be handing Kiss My Rump Donald Trump I’d never vote for you Not if you were the last man standing Kiss my rump Donald Trump If you attempt a coup Your ass to you we will be handing Your ass to you we will be handing Your ass to you we will be handing

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An Odyssey of Parodies about the first year and a half of the Administration of #45.

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released July 8, 2018

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Sandy and Richard Riccardi San Francisco, California

Rosie O'Donnell declared Sandy and Richard "MY FAVORITE NEW SINGING SONGWRITING TEAM" on Twitter this March. San Francisco- based Comedy Cabaret Couple, Sandy and Richard Riccardi are satirizing every thing within reach of a piano, specializing in progressive parody. Over 35 million views on social media. ... more

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