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about

This was our second viral YouTube video ever. The song was conceived around a dinner table full of, ahem, older friends. The enchilada dish was exquisitely and lovingly prepared. At a table of 8 we had the following medically necessary diet restrictions: Gluten-free, Lactose-free, no alcohol, need for Beano, low sodium, low carb, no sugar. A song was born as we passed around the Beano, Lactaid, Pepcid AC and gluten-free, alcohol-free beer.

lyrics

(intro)
I made turkey and stuffing and hot mashed potatoes
Yams and a ham and some fried green tomatoes
But I had forgot
What my friends could have or have not:

(verse)
Charlie could not eat cheddar
Cuz it clashes with his meds
Lee's on a low carb diet
Couldn't sample any breads

(verse)
Anya could not eat onions
cuz they filled her up with gas
Elsie could not have eggnog
cuz it knocked her on her a**

(bridge):
I made Martha Stewart's tart
Sweet and high-falutin'
that 6 people couldn't eat
cuz it contained gluten

(verse)
Sherman could not have shellfish
or he would asphyxiate
There wasn't one damn item
that could stay on Linda's plate


(2nd intro)
My souffle was a masterpiece, so light and airy
But my guests couldn't eat it cuz no one ate dairy
I broke down and wept:
If you're vegan, then why'd you accept?

(verse)
Penny got on her podium
on and on and on she went
about the evils of sodium (plus how!)
She's lactose intolerant

(verse)
Peter was prone to bloating
Couldn't eat the broccoli
Annie gets acid reflux
Everytime she looks at me

(bridge):
When I put the turkey down
Sarah had to say
"Ever since the world began,
I can't eat no tryptophan"

(verse)
Everyone at the table
Getting up in years, you see
Skipped the meal all together
Talked about their surgeries

(Tag)
So I said pass the beano and pour me some vino and screw it, next year Your House Please!

credits

from "UNPRESIDENTED" Parodies, released June 8, 2017
Recorded live by Nat Aslaksen at Cinnabar Theatre. Parody lyrics by Sandy Riccardi. Original Tune "Rudolph" by Johnny Marks. Arrangement by Richard Riccardi.

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about

Sandy and Richard Riccardi San Francisco, California

Rosie O'Donnell declared Sandy and Richard "MY FAVORITE NEW SINGING SONGWRITING TEAM" on Twitter this March. San Francisco- based Comedy Cabaret Couple, Sandy and Richard Riccardi are satirizing every thing within reach of a piano, specializing in progressive parody. Over 35 million views on social media. ... more

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